Diarrhea Hill (a Friday's Fun Family Fact)

Welcome to this week's installment of Friday's Fun Family Facts...This post will have nothing at all to do with anything. You should definitely not read another section of Galatians to go along with this post!

It has been quite some time since I have posted a "Friday's Fun Family Facts" so for those of you who are not 'lifers' on this blog, let me give you a brief update.

I have a very interesting family... and there are, therefore, lots of good stories to tell. That's it!

My bedroom looked out across the road on the Eastern side of our house toward a little hill. We nicknamed the hill the diarrhea hill because it didn't have any grass on it. Every time it rained, thick, smelly, goopy mud with chemically residue would slide down the hill and create very inviting wallows at the base of the hill. To a 7 year old mind it was a very simple fact that the hill must be made of thousands of yards of poop; hence, diarrhea hill.

One day, about 12 hours after a pretty hard rain, my siblings and and I were overcome with temptation; we just could not resist the urge to investigate the hill. We marched across the street into the festering mud wallow. Of course, within a matter of seconds Anna and I were caught in the quick-mud, making embarrassing noises with our shoes sludging and spelching our legs deeper and deeper into the diarrhea death trap in our struggle for freedom.

just as we were about to disappear from sight into the bottomless pit of excrement my father bounced into the driveway - he always got home early on Fridays, but somehow we never seemed to remember that he got home early on Fridays. My older brother who had managed to avoid the limb trapping detritus soup hole ran across the street to recruit my father's aid.

What I saw was the silhouette of my father, a large looming man, with what looked like an axe or shotgun clutched in his right hand, walking with an angry gait toward Anna and I as we began to make peace with our inevitable tomb. I was convinced that he was going to off us and let us sink into oblivion to be discovered by paleontologists in 10,000 years. Of course, he did not, and the shotgun turned out to be a life stick that he intended to use to pull us to freedom.

My dad ruined his shirt, Anna lost her shoe and we all lost our dignity as we were hosed off outside in less that appropriate public attire by my mom who almost lost her consciousness from laughter. Although I was freed from the hill's grasp that day, I never felt completely free from the power of the diarrhea hill. Nightmares, claustrophobic panic attacks and paranoid sidelong glances marked my experience for several years following that VERY traumatic day.